Fresh homemade bread.

Look what I came home from work to today!

The end of the world news

Becoming a Mum changed a lot of things about me. Superficial things. My hair is no longer poker straight. My stomach is no longer flat. I have a fine collection of stretch marks. I pour milk instead of peas into a pan of boiling water and then wonder what on earth I did it for.

It has changed me emotionally, too. I remember being younger and scoffing at my Mum and younger brother as they watched E.T and cried. Now I get emotional over the Father/Son scenes in A Goofy Movie and could weep buckets watching the Prince of Egypt.

Every day I read the news. I don't skim over the stories with fleeting interest any more, a cursory reaction of shock or sadness. I don't read these stories as just myself. I read them as a Mother.

A family of six all killed in a terrible road accident. A young boy shot as he walked home from football practice. Young people being murdered; murdering each other. I feel for the families of young soldiers, barely out of their teens, who have died in Iraq. I worry for the world my children are growing up in when I hear of the pain people willing inflict on those around them. I'm devastated by anything involving the harm or deaths of children.

It's one of many but this story is haunting me:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7690076.stm

I can't stop thinking about what a terribly sad, short life that little girl lived. My heart aches for her. Tortured and abused by her own family before finally having her little body snapped in two by her Father. I wonder how much the Mother knew. Did she care? Did she attempt to stop it?

Who will remember that little girl now?

Lazy like Sunday morning.

We had a very lazy day today. So lazy in fact that the boys were still in their pyjamas come tea time.

I had a lie in and did the food shopping. There have been some serious price hikes again. For example the yogurts I buy for the boys have gone from 48p to £1.19 in a matter of weeks! I was often to be found staring at a shelf, mouth agape and head shaking in disgust. All things considered I am impressed that the food bill for the week came to £70. It has strengthened my resolve to have a veg patch/pots in the garden though. And I'm highly considering making all my own bread from now on too. Shop bought bread is over priced, heavy on the yeast and has a ridiculously high salt content.

The boys did some drawing and had an afternoon nap as they were very grumpy by lunch time. Jack really enjoys drawing and I had a great time watching him. He drew a 'big fat banana' and a 'round green apple'. He very diligently drew a snail shell spiral that got out of control and took over the page. He also drew a puppy, with a big head, eyes and nose and a tiny body and some little legs. I thought it was pretty impressive for a 3 year old. Plus it's very cute!

And my achievement for the day was making my very first roast chicken dinner! It was yummy. The carcass and left over meat will be used to make a big chicken stew/soup for dinner tomorrow.

Autumn Walks

Today Ryan was working so he was out of the house before we all got up at 7.30am. We had a warming breakfast of porridge and jammy toast and then wrapped up ready to go out for the morning.

We climbed. And were very proud that we could do it without Mummy's help.



We went on the swings. Ben never tires of the swings. He sat in there giggling for a good 25 minutes.



We walked through the woods.





And stomped through the leaves.





We found some interesting holes. Apparently a mouse dug this one.



But this one was done by a puppy.



We found a 'yellow sunshine tree'.



And some interesting fungi.



Ben played with the trees.



We looked out over the lough and listened to the water. Then we ruined the ambience by throwing stones into the water to make big splashes!


Then we were a bit wet and muddy so we came home and got changed and snuggled up under our duvets to watch a film and wait for Daddy to get home.

The weekend doesn't last nearly long enough.

Communication.

I think it's partially because their speech development has been so slow but I often have difficulty getting the boys to respond appropriately to situations and TELL me what the problem is rather than instantly crying or whining.

In light of that I felt this was a small victory.

On the way home from Oxford Island today I gave the three of them raisins to snack on until we got home. A couple of minutes in Jack started a high-pitched incoherent howl.

'Jack, I can't understand you when you cry like that. Talk to me using words please.'

*wailing continues*

'I can't help unless I can understand what the problem is. I need you to talk to me.'

*wailing continues... then stops*

'I'm upset because I dropped my raisins and I can't reach.'
(although I can't lie, he didn't say it this eloquently!)

I was so pleased I stopped the car and picked up the raisins for him, even though we were only a mile and a half from home.

Hallowe'en!

The boys carved two scary pmpkins and made chunky pumpkin soup while I was at work. The soup was delicious and I forgot to take photos of the pumpkins.

I went to 'Fear and Pizza' with the guys from work for a couple of hours. On the way to the train station I got a firework thrown at me by a group of young boys from the estate across the road from work. Fortunately it missed me - it rebounded off the bridge and shot off towards the multistorey car park. Scared the life out of me though. How can there be so many completely oblivious people in the world?

Jack and Joseph dressed up as little devils. Ben was an adorable bat. They went to a party with their Nanny and probably had far too many sweets. I suppose you have to turn a blind eye occasionally though.

There she goes again.

Tradition though it may be to start long overdue blog posts with the earnest promise to try harder, be more dedicated to the cause - well I'm not going to do it. But you can read between the lines.

I've been a 'working Mum' for 2 months now and it has been busy. I'm enjoying the job to an extent. It's not where my natural talents lie. It's not where I thought I would be or what I would be doing. But all in all things could be a lot worse.
I feel a bit of a cheat calling myself a 'software developer' because I still have a lot of learning to do. Since joining my team I'm lucky if I know what people are talking about more than 20% of the time!

The boys have adjusted wonderfully and I'm so proud of them. Ben would probably be the one who took it hardest and he is still very clingy with me when I get home. He had his first birthday a couple of weekends ago. We decorated his bedroom with lots of lovely things from IKEA and it looks wonderful. A bit of a waste as he still co-sleeps but I've started putting him in bed for the first couple of hours of the night. He's normally back in with us by midnight though and I'm in no hurry to change it. I think he needs the extra comfort and attention.

Jack and Joseph are as entertaining as ever. I promised them a walk last weekend but it was such horrendous weather I had to put it off. Perhaps it will be bright enough this weekend. The temperature drop has been unreal. I know we're famous for unpredictable weather in this country but it's been quite a change - snow in October? I'm not sure I've ever seen that before.
Anyway on Saturday we made delicious oaty biscuits (which unfortunately caused serious upset with Jack when I would only let him eat one)and made trees out of toilet roll tubes and lots of messy paint. Funny little creatures that they are they actually really hate getting messy and were cleaning their hands every 5 minutes or so!
On Sunday we took them to see the Dinosaur exhibit at W5 in Belfast. Dinosaurs are a big favourite at the moment. Joseph was terrified of the T-rex (or sharp tooth!) but they seemed to enjoy themselves and I only felt a bit out of pocket for spending the £20!

Pay day tomorrow and I can't wait to get ordering some lovely Christmas presents. Aiming for cheap and cheerful this year so I'm making lavender bathsalts for our respective Mums and a black and white canvas print of that photo in the post below (which I LOVE). Can't wait to order the boys little wooden dinosaurs. Ben is getting a pull along frog and some rainbow stacking arches. I'm also getting them an easel and lots of new arty supplies. I also have plans to make salt dough Christmas tree decorations for everyone as a precursory treat. I'm really looking forward to it this year.

I also have some pre-new years resolutions. I've no excuses any more since I'm 2 months into this 'routine' so I need to be more organised and a little less lazy. Because it's so easy to be lazy and there's so much I want to do.
I need to start getting prepared for growing some yummy fruit and veg in the garden next year.
And remembering the fantastic dinosaur jumpers Grandma made for me and my siblings (and my Mum!) when I was a child, I want to learn to knit.

I'll have to update this with pictures when I get home. I'm still in work and really it's very naughty of me to be doing this...